Dear People having-a-shit-time-this-Christmas, more specifically Parents, – this is for you!
(I’m tempted to call you Monarchs with a nod to my current blog heroine Constance Hall but it seems contrived. I am not her. But please feel free to don your crowns!)
At this time of year passing windows full of Christmas trees and glittery fairy lights, twinkling out from cosy-2.4-kids-healthy-happy-couples firesides, it’s easy to think you are alone. Trust me. You are not. Those twinkling lights are lying.
This is a note for you. For families like yours, like mine. For those who have lost. For those who are losing ones they love. For those who hadn’t realised how perfect their lives were until that diagnosis, that accident, that moment. For those who have had to say goodbye too soon. I want to say to you;
It is OK to not be OK. Especially now. When The Perfect Family are twinkling away next door.
It is OK to want to run away and never come back.
It is OK to not see your babies as continual-magical-joy-giving-creations
It is even OK to resent them their innocence. It might be taboo. But I swear it is OK.
It is OK because you are not alone in feeling this. Many, or even most parents I reckon feel this, if they don’t then life just hasn’t yet handed them the shit-chips that bring it on. Go them. But they will. We all will. It is normal.
What is abnormal, what is extraordinary is you! When facing this life-altering shit;
You, you glorious being, choosing not to walk out of that door.
You, finding just one reason to kiss your childs head.
You curling your lip to smile, however fleetingly at an innocent gurgle.
That is the real Christmas magic. YOU.
Doing all of that. You. Magic as fuck.
So from one Mama with a heavy heart and tear-stained face to another, I want to say to you. I see you. I hear you. I am here with you. And this Christmas all I hope is that whatever unfolds, you know, somewhere, deep down, that you are loved. Always and forever loved.