Today was another BIG DAY. A day I’ve wanted to reach and not imagined getting to. Today was my last scheduled appointment with my therapist. My last regular-appointment with a health practitioner of any sort. After two years of weekly medical-meetings this is massive this is HUGE. Perhaps I will feel the need to go back one day and that’s OK. But for now, for now, I am free. Here’s a poem to celebrate the end of one chapter and the start of the next.
I hand over the grateful-flowers, blue buds still sheathed in green,
Smile and widen my eyes, soon those will bloom.
I turn the brass latch and click open the front door
A door of light wood and grey glass. A soft door.
I remember when I first stood on this step.
Then as now, I stood here just the same,
but then, you stood with me too.
Aloof, agonised, twisted and grim
You spoke of the future and of the past,
of logic and rhetoric.
You held my hand as I stepped inside,
curled up on my knee and soothed me with a poisoned hand.
You burrowed into my spine and clouded my brain,
You were there, not here. You were other.
The other one.
The mirror held not just me, but you too.
Over eight months, twenty weeks, as many hours and a billion words later
There is only one face that now looks back.
It’s yours and mine. Mine and yours.
I’ve made space for you. So you no longer have to fight.
You’ve come back to me and I to you.
We are one.
So now, in this moment, I know,
I am all that I can be and that is sublime.