Dear People having-a-shit-time-this-Christmas

Dear People having-a-shit-time-this-Christmas, more specifically Parents, – this is for you!

(I’m tempted to call you Monarchs with a nod to my current blog heroine Constance Hall but it seems contrived. I am not her. But please feel free to don your crowns!)

At this time of year passing windows full of Christmas trees and glittery fairy lights, twinkling out from cosy-2.4-kids-healthy-happy-couples firesides, it’s easy to think you are alone. Trust me. You are not. Those twinkling lights are lying.

This is a note for you. For families like yours, like mine. For those who have lost. For those who are losing ones they love. For those who hadn’t realised how perfect their lives were until that diagnosis, that accident, that moment. For those who have had to say goodbye too soon. I want to say to you;

It is OK to not be OK. Especially now. When The Perfect Family are twinkling away next door.

It is OK to want to run away and never come back.

It is OK to not see your babies as continual-magical-joy-giving-creations

It is even OK to resent them their innocence. It might be taboo. But I swear it is OK.

It is OK because you are not alone in feeling this. Many, or even most parents I reckon feel this, if they don’t then life just hasn’t yet handed them the shit-chips that bring it on. Go them. But they will. We all will. It is normal.

What is abnormal, what is extraordinary is you! When facing this life-altering shit;

You, you glorious being, choosing not to walk out of that door.

You, finding just one reason to kiss your childs head.

You curling your lip to smile, however fleetingly at an innocent gurgle.

That is the real Christmas magic. YOU.

Doing all of that. You. Magic as fuck.

So from one Mama with a heavy heart and tear-stained face to another, I want to say to you. I see you. I hear you. I am here with you. And this Christmas all I hope is that whatever unfolds, you know, somewhere, deep down, that you are loved. Always and forever loved.


Pin on PinterestShare on Google+Share on Facebook

Searching for Silver-Linings

I am really struggling to articulate myself today, my mind is jumbled up and words are spewing out of my fingers in totally nonsensical patterns. My stomach churns. It is easy to get so caught up in the business of living that we begin to take it totally for granted. All it takes is a ring on the phone, a knock on the door and the words There’s some bad news… and your world as you know it can be flipped upside down, inside out, destroyed in a heartbeat. What took a lifetime to build can be gone in seconds, what we unconsciously think will always be there might go right now. We cannot stop the world spinning and we cannot always hold onto all those we love.

via Progressive Parent

What we can do however, is choose how we spend our energy. We can either ruminate on all the bad things or positively go looking for the silver linings. Personally, I choose to spend my life as positively as possible. This does not mean that I simply ignore ‘bad things’. Infact, it means the opposite. I see a bad thing and choose, actively, presently and consciously to try and find the silver lining.

Finding silver linings is hard and horrible. It is. Particularly, when we face a reminder of the inevitable mortality of all that we hold most dear. However, I am of the opinion that life is a gift and it is ours to make of it what we will. For me, happiness and health are where it’s at, so silver-lining searching is where I’m going!

Today, this is all the silver I can muster; reminders of mortality are good, for they encourage us not to take anything for granted. When we are faced with the mortality of ourselves and those we love most, we remember to live, wholeheartedly in the present moment. So, when death comes calling, it is through gratitude for those small moments; a hug, a grin, a wave in a crowd, a brush of hair, a forehead kiss, a shared laugh, that the silver linings can still be found.

your light

So hug, your loved ones, enjoy your day, savour your food, your laughter and the beauty of the world. Don’t wait for tomorrow, life is for living now.

Pin on PinterestShare on Google+Share on Facebook