I keep reading advice on Do’s and Don’t of blogs, I don’t know quite who all this ‘free’ advice is aimed at but I feel it’s not really at me! This is not a blogging EMPIRE I have here, it’s simply my teeny tiny corner of the web to do with as I wish. So today I thought I’d ask myself why I am blogging? Why am I writing and writing, why can’t I stop? (I can’t…I wake up at night dreaming of writing…!)
Is it to become a good writer? (whatever a ‘good’ writer means’) To create some kind of career path? Is it to tell the world what kind of floss I use on my teeth? Is it to share my MASSIVE wisdoms? Is it perhaps, purely a place to selfishly be the centre of attention and shout, across the interweb-waves Look at ME! Is it a place of healing? Is writing part of my therapy? To give me something to do when my body won’t co-operate. To distract me from pain? The answer is I don’t know. I suspect I write for a mixture of all the above reasons. I write to clear my mind, to help make sense of the chaos within.
I write to help me see the beauty in the world. It is easy to drone on and on about all the problems I have. It is far harder to sit and think of all my blessings. Harder still to turn those positives into coherent sentences. It is a process which cannot be rushed, nor can it be stemmed. It flows out of me (struggling to control my tourtured-poets-soul-metaphors-of- crashing rivers here…!) and I need to have somewhere to put it. Helpfully the C21st has provided me with the perfect outlet – blogs.
Over the last few months I have dedicated myself to my health, wellbeing and happiness. I have written and written, teaching myself to talk the talk and now I am beginning the walk! Part of The Talk, is an idea first suggested by my Chronic Pain Specialist that I begin a GRATITUDE book.
With this in mind, every night for the past three months, the very last thing I do before I go to sleep is write a list of what I’m grateful for that day. Initially I started with small things, such as being grateful for a cup of tea being bought to me but I quickly realised that a list like that was firstly pretty easy to create and secondly could go on a long time. So I took a step back and looked at the BIGGER, overarching gratitude I can muster for each day. Each night I start and end my list the same way;
I am gratefull that I am ALIVE…. I am gratefull I can access amazing food, I am gratefull I am happily married, I am gratefull I own books, I am gratefull we live by the sea I am gratefull that I am learning more each day, this makes me stronger and I have less pain.
Since I have started doing this I have not only had less pain, I’ve slept better and I find joy easier to see and beauty more frequently around me. It has become one of the happiest parts of my day. However hectic, painfull, stressfull or easy a day might’ve been to lie next to my husband and share this daily gratitude is one of the greatest lessons I have so far learnt on this path.
I suppose this is ancient wisdom, not dissimilar to a prayer-at-bedtime, simply re-structured and re-kindled for a more secular audience. Now I have learnt this talk, really learnt it. I am excited to keep practicising gratitude, I’m convinced this simple task helps you to simply think less and live more and ultimately will lead me past the talk and on to the walk!