This morning I have had a MAJOR self-healing BREAKTHROUGH. I think it is the first time I have successfully stopped my pain in its progressive tracks, single-handed, without drugs, without help, on my own, by myself I have DONE IT. I don’t know whether to cry or laugh or both, my mind is SO HAPPY I am typing so fast I want to get this amazingness out there into the ether, especially to those I love. Today I’ve learnt, whatever it is, YOU CAN DO IT. Don’t give up. Don’t give in.
…and breath and back up…
recognise that these massive highs and massive lows characterise my journey so…. Following yesterday’s rain dance, this morning dawned and I was feeling pretty damn perky, tea was avialable, sun shone birds even sang, I’ve got a meeting about building a giant Troll later (as you do) and my world was great! That was until I started ‘work’ – consisting of a Spanish-Level-test and vounteer application…….after about 30minutes I noticed the now familiar ache of my back pain creeping in, my legs started tingling, my left side was going numb, the pain hiked up a notch or two…..drugs I thought….I stood up to look for them and then a miraculous thing happened……..instead of reaching for the pills I reached for my pen and notebook. I took these tools to my bedroom, lay down and Conscious Stream Journaled.
Conscious Stream journaling is a method of writing I learnt on the SIRPA programme and it has become an invaluable tool to me. The idea is simple. You sit with a pen and write the first thing that comes into your head, it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense just spew it all out. I find that after a few lines I suddenly realise what I am stressed about and the issues become much clearer. I write words ontop of each other so that I can’t re-read what I’ve written. I simply acknowledge, recognise and then let go of it.
Today, before I knew it there were four illegiable pages in front of me. WhenI felt like stopping I breathed and replayed my Headspace meditation. I stood up and realised with some surprise that my pain had simply vanished. Within the space of 30minutes, which is about the same amount of time it takes for an oral painkiller to have effect I had effectively ‘cured’ myself with nothing more than a pen and my own breath.
If I can do it today, even for a moment. I can do it again. I know I can and I know that other people can too. I hope that I can find a way to remember this day always, not just the story of it but the way it has made me feel. Full of Hope and positivity. The power is within you. You had the power all along. One Love.